The CIPQ Guide: Post-first draft
The Cambridge International Project Qualification (CIPQ) is a research project that entails the writing of an academic essay, completed over the course of a few months. This issue guides you through the polishing stage of a CIPQ essay.
Congratulations on completing your first draft! Give yourself a pat in the back as the first draft is usually the hardest to write. After all, you started from scratch, and now you are here. What you should do now is to polish, polish, polish.
Meeting with supervisor
It should go without saying that it is imperative to regularly meet your supervisor. Send your first draft to them as soon as possible so they have ample time to vet, bearing in mind that the first draft will be the roughest version and thus will take longer to read.
A supervisor’s role is to point out blind spots for your attention. They should never write for you, but rather help you realise areas that require improvement. My supervisor did this by giving their point of view as a reader with no prior knowledge on my subject topic. My essay was evaluated based on how easy it is to understand and follow.
The imperfect first draft
Truth be told, no first draft is ever perfect. It would be worrying if a first draft is perfect right off the bat. I remember feeling so confident after finishing my first draft, with the naive self-assurance that I had written an analytical essay. Nonetheless, I was humbled swiftly by my supervisor who underscored the lack of analysis in my essay. In short, I was purely reiterating facts from the journals I had read.
Besides the lack of analysis, the poor organisation of my paragraphs gave the essay a bad flow. Coupled with my excessive use of passive voice in my sentences, my essay was hard to read. Readers could not follow the flow of my thoughts.
That being said, my first draft was a goldmine for writing my second draft as I had already gotten my paraphrasing done. This allowed me to deconstruct my essay in the second draft by starting from scratch. I reorganised my paragraphs and added analysis into the facts.
Analysis is important because it tells your readers why the fact or figure you cited is relevant to your research question. By adding analysis to bolster my points, I was able to remove certain unnecessary sub-points and focus on the big points that bear weight.
Here is an example:
As context, I was evaluating the impact of vehicle banning on retail sales.
In my first draft, I was purely stating facts:
According to Hass-Klau, sales in an area where private vehicles are prohibited do not usually undergo significant increases (Hass-Klau, 1993). Retail turnovers will undergo a transitional period that usually lasts for a year, when sales may drop, after which is expected to grow exponentially (Hass-Klau, 1993).
Here is the improved version in my fifth draft:
The rise in pedestrian flow has been shown to increase sales of an area. A study conducted in Khao San Road, Bangkok on the effects of banning private vehicles through pedestrianisation found a positive economic benefit with 47% of retailing shops experiencing an increase in sales (Kumar & Ross, 2006). However, according to Hass-Klau, sales in an area where private vehicles are prohibited do not usually undergo significant increases immediately. Retail turnovers will undergo a ‘transitional period’ that usually lasts for a year, during which sales may drop, but an exponential growth is expected after the period (Hass-Klau, 1993). Hence, city planners must be cognizant of this phenomenon when planning to ban private vehicles and be prepared to offer economic assistance to shop owners during the transitional period.
I bolstered my point with supporting and disproving evidence. This added nuance to my argument and strengthened my analysis in the final sentence, thus underscoring precaution required in view of the convoluted effects of vehicle prohibition.
Rewriting
Although one is expected to write multiple drafts before an essay is ready for submission, do not go overboard by writing too many drafts. I personally wrote five drafts and I think that is ample for any significant improvements to be made.
While rewriting, remember to take breaks, between paragraphs and also between drafts. There is a tendency of researchers to lose sight of the macrocosmic picture by falling too deep into the rabbit hole. As a result, our analytical capacities drop and we fail to be objective in our evaluations; our perspective becomes so myopic that our essay is only comprehensible to us.
Therefore, put your device away and take a breather. Clear your mind of all the thoughts about your topic by engaging in unrelated activities. Once you have rested enough, come back and reread the paragraphs you wrote. You may find errors in spelling and grammar, or paragraphs that do not make any sense. If you do not think you can check your spelling or grammar accurately, do run your essay through an automatic proofreader to correct your mistakes.
Furthermore, it is vital to check each of your drafts for plagiarism via systems like Turn It In. Your CIPQ coordinator or school library should provide you access to these services. Before submitting your drafts to your supervisor, run the draft through the system and make necessary amendments. Aim to have less than 10% plagiarism count in your essays.
TL;DR Distillation
To distil it down, writing multiple drafts is an expected process during your CIPQ to ensure a polished essay. Candidates are advised to meet their supervisors to get a clearer picture of ways to improve their essay. During the writing process, candidates should take regular mental and physical breaks to ensure their mind is clear on the big picture. Proofreading and plagiarism checks should also be completed frequently in order to keep mistakes at bay and ensure plagiarism count is under 10%.
References
Hass-Klau, C. (1993). A review of the evidence from Germany and the UK. Transport Policy, 1(1), 21–31. https://doi.org/10.1016/0967-070X(93)90004-7
Kumar, S., & Ross, W. (2006). Effects of pedestrianisation on the commercial and retail areas: Study in Khao San Road, Bangkok. World Transport Policy and Practice, 13(1), 79.
Disclaimer: Any information given is based on the author’s own experience; the author’s views are personal and do not represent the opinions of any other entity. Every effort has been taken to ensure resource links and information provided in this article are up to the date of publishing and comply with fair use standards.
